4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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