Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
