If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
