"it" just moved
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
