I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
