Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think I am morally bankrupt
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
