shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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