The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
