you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You need a sexual gate keeper
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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