I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
