While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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