It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
