I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
