I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
