I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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