I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
