Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
