I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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