i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You need Xanax blowdarts
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
