is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Randomize
