apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
