there's paper in my vomit.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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