Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
