Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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