So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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