thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
