his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize