before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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