Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
