Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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