In the future we'll all be gay
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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