Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
