i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
