I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
