Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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