That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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