Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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