Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
