STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
