I need to stop coming to work sober
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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