I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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