You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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