Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
