Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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