shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
NoShamevember. You game?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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