I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
