i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
