I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
