My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
we're so committed to being not committed
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
