You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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