I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
