i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
